Croissants and Cappuccinos

Fall, the most amazing time of the year. The trees are turning colors, the sky is mysterious, the men are starting to dress like men, and the sluts are going into hiding because they don’t know how to dress for the cold. It is completely perfect! The air is cold, but not over whelming for the lungs, it is fresh and minty! I love this time of year….that is all I can say! I need to move somewhere that is like this 24/7. Here in Paris, well it is even more gorg! There are so many parks, and the cold was a shocker after being in the hott hott Marseille, but honeys, the temp is just perfect now!! :) When I woke up from my crazy haze of after vaca sleep, I found my beloved danny!…with a new friend. Well, an old friend for her, but a new one for me! His name: Nick Fergie Ludavicious. And the whole name is real people. I think this is enough said for some, but baby it is just the beg! This amazing lanky man, from Canda, living life like Paris, Britney, and Lohan, made me soo happy! From CalArts, now living in Italy, this LOUD bunldle of gay joy connected to my hip for a long few days! That very day we immediately smoked and went all over Paris! Amazing thing to come home to right? Shopping I love you! After getting crazy that night, the next day was a mess of fun! Lets just say that in Paris you are expected to act a certain way in public, and if you don’t act this way, you are judged HARD CORE! be to yourself, quiet, distant, introverted…you get my point. Mr. Fergs was anything but this. He was possibly the loudest and most inappropriate thing to have in Parisian public! I mean humping, talking about people, sex, etc. OH and additionally like was in giant bug D&G glasses, with a huge furr coat, and a very long Chanel scarf (that was stolen years ago). Too classic. MMM also the black n milds, or should I say black devils were filling the air. 

Saturday night my American dorm had a Halloween party in the basement of the dorm. I basically just dressed up all sexy and went with Fergie and Danny (who was jersey for sure) downstairs. We ordered drinks and owned it! We got danny a sexy Spanish man, I talked to a man from Australia with fergs for giggles, and all was good…well just for a little while. I had a great night dancing with fergs, danny, the Spanish man, and the black Australian names Sydney, until a guy with creeper long fake fingers grazed my face with one. I remembered him because he wassss tooooooo creppy. Such a lurker. Why can’t a girl get dressed up and dance with the boys, gays, and respectable men without getting harassed. This wasn’t even the end of it. Not too long later when Fergs and I were just dancing this creepy mexi guy came up from behind me and crabbed up under my skirt to y little lady parts…….. WARNING: At this moment the inner snooki came out of me. I wooped my ass around and backhanded this F***** in the face with my forearm and proceeded to hit the S*** out of him while screaming profanities. Yes, Jersey shore visited Paris. Fergs said I hit him too trying to still go after the guy, and that he had to be J-Woww and carry me about 20 feet out the door, and awayyyyyyyyy. At that moment I needed a drink and something a lot stringer! After this a group of Spanish boys harassed me trying to get me all angry to hit them. Why do men think that it is ok to touch women, look at us, try to get us to hit them, yell at us, or touch us in any way? Do they really feel better after picking on a girl that is barely 5 Foot? Men are not men when they become 18, they do not become a man when they are married, they become teenagers when they find a wife to take control of the “man” tasks. I swear so far European men have done nothing but FREAK ME OUT! 

The next night, halloween, we got faded!! Faded beyond belief. OH wait, actually I think that was just me. See, I got ready the earliest because I had to do everyone’s makeup and such. So when I drew on faces, I drank, and drank, and drank. Apparently I was belting in the dorm to chicago and 90s music, dancing all over, and being a great mess! Totally the most ready for bed by the time we had to leave I was sooo over it! Because I was such a ball people were convinced to come out, so we ventured to the city! On the metro i got the spins and was going to leave, but my friends just laughed at me and made me go to Showcase-the club. This underground club was made of stone and looked like Dracula’s den/rave fest! I danced, blacked out a little, and took photos in my all glittery self with just fergs and danny. I think we were too much for all the other old farts. Because I was already crai crai, I was drinking water at the club to sober up, but a guy pushed me and lets just say his face was soaking wet after that. Men :/

Getting home the cab driver though he was 007 while listening to Bob Marley. We were going sooo fast and honestly it was great!! oddly that ride did not make me get the spins. 

Best thing ever: People remember way more things than I did about this night! Formulating sentences was funny for people to watch me do, but on top of that i did the unthinkable: I intercepted a tween boy in a wheel chair from his mother and danced with him for a good long time, spinning him in circles and all. I was told there is a video of this. I was not inappropriate and his mother loved it: says everyone. they said I was genuinely sad when we had to go. This is just so me, to see something most people would look past, and go act on doing such a bizarre, public activity! I just love making people feel happy! 

The next morning: I slept until 3:30pm